With the future of our economy unknown at the moment, I thought a little humor might be in order to lighten the mood. Or maybe it’s not humorous, and these are things that you are experiencing as I type this. Either way, these are my top 10 indicators that you are about to get the axe at work:
- The ever-present snack nook in the office laden with bagels and donuts has been replaced with coupons for Hamburger Helper and Velveeta cheese.
- Someone boxed up all of Corporate’s books and tacked a sign on it that says, “Take me, I’m free.”
- A man named Hank has been hovering around your cube a lot lately, and you get the feeling that he’s not there to “arrange the file cabinets.”
- Your boss came to work drunk twice last week.
- The Big Guy from Risk Management was whistling “Hotel California” most of yesterday when you were within earshot, always a sure sign that something’s amiss.
- You came to work drunk twice last week, but that’s only because you were out with your boss all night, who all of a sudden doesn’t care if she gets totally trashed in your presence.
- The “Please Don’t Flush Your Sanitary Items!!!!” sign in the bathroom was replaced with a poster-sized replica of “Footprints in the Sand.”
- Jackie from Payroll keeps giving you meaningful glances each time she passes you in the hall.
- You wore a pair of ketchup-stained wind pants to work last week, and no one said a thing. Not one single person.
- Everyone in HR has suddenly become sweet and soft-spoken and have even taken to peppering their memos with smiley-faces and thought-provoking quotes from Mark Twain.
If you or a loved one has experienced any of these sure signs of severance, you might want to start perusing the job boards, or at the very least, start thinking about selling some of Grandma’s things on eBay to help cushion the fall.
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